Therapy, communication and men’s work

Olivier Passebecq

Welcoming your wholeness, your weirdness,

and everything in between.

If you’re here, it might be because you want to heal, grow and thrive.

Hello, I’m Olivier, and I’m glad you’re here. Learning to relate, with myself and with others, has been the biggest gift of my life, though it didn’t always feel that way. This website is my way of following my purpose: sharing that gift, and supporting others in ways I deeply believe in.

Maybe you keep bumping into the same patterns: the same argument with your partner, the same distance with friends, the same old tension with your family. People listen, and still it’s hard to feel really met. There are things inside you that you’ve never said to anyone, because they feel too embarrassing or too much. You like people, and people can also be a lot for you. And underneath, you’re longing for something different: to be understood, to trust, to feel appreciated for who you are and not only for what you do.

I believe each of us carries an incredible wisdom within, and that life and painful experiences can make it hard to reach. I’ve spent years finding ways back to mine. Now, supporting you on your journey is part of what makes my own meaningful.

A big part of my work is with men. Many of the men I meet have people around them, and still rarely feel truly heard, especially by another man. If the idea of a men’s circle makes you cringe a little, you’re not alone. This is a different flavour of men’s work, and it might be just what you’ve been looking for. You can join one of the groups, workshops and retreats I run in London, online and sometimes further afield, or work with me one to one. Outside of the men’s groups, I also work with women and couples, one to one and in mediation.

Here, I want to welcome you not as you were taught to be, but exactly as you are, in your wholeness and your weirdness.

What I’ll ask of you

Curiosity about your own part in what keeps happening, even when it’s easier to see what others are doing.
A willingness to feel what’s there, and to learn what it’s telling you.
Patience. The patterns that shaped you took years to form, and changing them takes time.

If you’re looking for a quick fix that leaves emotions out of it, I’m probably not your person. If you’re not sure, get in touch and we’ll find out together.

What I’m committed to

Honesty and presence.
A space where the scariest thoughts and emotions are welcome.
A deep commitment to embracing vulnerability.
A trust that through vulnerability, we find our strength.

An acorn becomes an oak because it grows leaves: thin, tender, sensitive to every shift in light and weather. Through those leaves, the tree feeds itself and builds the strength of its trunk. Without the vulnerability of the leaf, there is no strength in the trunk. And a trunk without leaves is just a dead tree. We need both, the strength that holds us and the tenderness that keeps us alive.

I want to help build spaces safe enough for our vulnerability to grow, so our strength can grow with it.

Get in touch

You might be here because…

Going quiet or blowing up

When conflict comes, you shut down or say more than you meant to. Together we work on staying present and saying what matters without hurting the connection.

Too close, or never close enough

Maybe you need a lot of reassurance and worry the other person will leave. Maybe closeness makes you want to back away. We look at where the pattern comes from and build a steadier, more secure way of relating.

Feeling alone, even with people around

A partner, family, friends, and still few places where you can show your true colours. You want to be heard without judgement, and to feel connection that goes deeper than company. Together we work on finding and building those spaces.

A nervous system out of balance

Wired when you need calm, drained when you need energy. You can feel something is off, and you don’t know what to do with it. In the room with me, your body can begin to settle. From there we listen to what it needs, and you find your own way to meet it.

Unsure whether to stay or go

A relationship that feels difficult, and you’re torn and confused about what to do next. A space without judgement to explore it, so you can find your own answer and make your own choice.

A conflict you can’t resolve alone

A partner, a parent, a friend, a colleague. The same argument, round and round, each of you feeling unheard. Together we rehearse the conversation you need to have, and if you both want it, I can sit with the two of you.

Looking for support for someone you love? You’re welcome to get in touch, and we can find a way in that suits them.