Relational intelligence, communication and men’s work

Olivier Passebecq

Let’s be uniquely human, together.

I find life really beautiful, and I know how hard it can get.

Hello, I’m Olivier, and I’m glad you’re here. I made this website because relating, with myself and with others, has been both my biggest challenge and my biggest gift.

Maybe, like me, you’ve reached a point where what you’ve been doing doesn’t really work for you, and you struggle to find a way out. Maybe you want to live more meaningfully, more authentically, in deeper integrity with who you are. And maybe, like all of us, you’re needing support, and what’s within reach doesn’t offer the safety or the community to find it.

Watch a film or the news and the story is nearly always the same: the good side must fight the bad one until it wins. Do you recognise that in your life? In your relationships? Within yourself? Many of us learn to push down and crush parts of ourselves, or to win the argument even when it damages the relationship. Is it working out for you?

I deeply believe each of us carries an incredible wisdom within. Life, the culture we live in and painful experiences can make it really hard to reach. I’ve spent years finding ways back to mine, and they’ve helped me build a life with an abundance of connection, friendship, community, repair, peace, love and joy. Now, supporting you on your journey is part of what makes my own meaningful.

You can work with me one to one, be supported in a mediation, or join one of the groups, workshops and retreats I run, in London, online and sometimes further afield. Over the years, I came to see how much men need spaces where they can be honest, be heard and hold each other, so a big part of my time and energy goes into men’s work and the NVC men’s groups I host. When men support one another, the people around them benefit from it too.

You’ve probably learned that you should behave a certain way, speak a certain way, think a certain way and feel a certain way. Here, I want to welcome you not as you were taught to be, but exactly as you are, with all your parts and layers: the ones that feel safest to show, and the ones that feel scarier to look at. I want welcome you here, in your wholeness and your weirdness.

You might be here because…

Going quiet or blowing up

When conflict comes, you shut down or say more than you meant to. Together we work on staying present and saying what matters without hurting the connection.

Too close, or never close enough

Maybe you need a lot of reassurance and worry the other person will leave. Maybe closeness makes you want to back away. We look at where the pattern comes from and build a steadier, more secure way of relating.

Feeling alone, even with people around

A partner, family, friends, and still few places where you can show your true colours. You want to be heard without judgement, and to feel connection that goes deeper than company. Together we work on finding and building those spaces.

A nervous system out of balance

Wired when you need calm, drained when you need energy. You can feel something is off, and you don’t know what to do with it. In the room with me, your body can begin to settle. From there we listen to what it needs, and you find your own way to meet it.

Unsure whether to stay or go

A relationship that feels difficult, and you’re torn and confused about what to do next. A space without judgement to explore it, so you can find your own answer and make your own choice.

A conflict you can’t resolve alone

A partner, a parent, a friend, a colleague. The same argument, round and round, each of you feeling unheard. Together we rehearse the conversation you need to have, and if you both want it, I can sit with the two of you.

Looking for support for someone you love? You’re welcome to get in touch, and we can find a way in that suits them.